Dreams…The saying “Commitment in the face of struggle builds character.”
Means that staying true to your commitments and ideals can help you grow as a person when you face problems or challenges.
It means that one of the most important parts of a person’s character is their ability to keep going through hard times and stay true to their goals and ideals.
Table of Contents
“In the face of conflict, commitment builds character.” ~Unknown
When confronted with conflict or hurdles, it is all too easy to abandon or compromise our ideas or values. Choosing to stick to our ideals in the face of hardship, on the other hand, can help us develop resilience, determination, and character strength. When we persevere in the face of adversity, we display our ability to overcome obstacles and learn from our experiences.
As a result, this quote shows how important commitment and resilience are in building character. It means that how we act when things go wrong shows who we really are and shapes who we are.
And it’s a sad reality that the overwhelming majority of people abandon their dreams.
It can happen at any time. Because any objective they have set for themselves is unattainable, a child’s parents teach them.
It does happen from time to time. You get older and tired, and rather than trying to pivot again, you decide to call it quits for good.
It’s heartbreaking when a dream fades. And, far too frequently, it dies far too young.
If you don’t believe me, just ask the folks around you if they’re creative—or what their most recent creative endeavor was. Most people will state that they aren’t creative at all.
Many will genuinely try to persuade you of their lack of creativity.
And the majority of them haven’t done anything creative in years.
Why? Because creativity is tied to dreams, imagination, and adventure.
Here are 15 of the most common reasons why people give up on themselves:
1. They are afraid of being condemned for failing by others they care about.
Fear of failure is crippling in and of itself. But, nearly invariably, that dread is founded in a fear of rejection or judgment from others around them.
What you need to do is distinguish between everyone else’s fears (inside themselves) and your own feelings. They are not the same thing.
2. They allow others the ability to sway their decisions.
Instead of asking themselves, “What do I actually want?” most individuals delegate that power to others.
Their guardians. Their acquaintances. Their superior.
However, fast forward ten, twenty, or thirty years. Will it matter what those folks thought?
You must make your own decisions.
3. They failed once and then give up.
How will you get to your destination if you stop walking?
Once is not a reliable indicator of your potential. Twice isn’t enough either. Even 100 times isn’t enough.
It’s an adventure. There is no such thing as “trying” too many times.
4. They notice only the failure and not the teaching.
People who give up on their goals usually fail once, then call themselves failures. “I am a failure,” they say over and over.
But what exactly does that word mean? Failure?
People who succeed view their “failures” as lessons to be learned forever and ever.
5. They are not taught how to regulate themselves.
Discipline is the single most important skill for making your ambitions a reality.
Regrettably, the majority of people do not exercise this talent. They dislike waiting for things, dislike cultivating patience, and do not see the benefit in foregoing short-term advantages in exchange for long-term profits.
Yet you will never accomplish anything if you lack discipline.
6. They are more concerned with the end result than with the process.
If you simply think about the ultimate result, you’ll never get there.
But if you concentrate on the method, you’ll find yourselves waking up every morning thinking, “Wow, I’ve come such a long way.”
7. They lack self-confidence.
They instead seek to convince others to believe in them.
They want everyone else to do the heavy lifting for them, to cheer them on, to provide them with the money they require, and to provide them with some sort of “guarantee.”
That is not how dreams work.
You must first believe in yourself before others will.
8. They associate with people who have a negative influence on them.
You are a projection of the five individuals with whom you spend the most time.
If you surround yourself with unpleasant, unproductive people who lack ambition, then what?
You’ll end up looking exactly like them.
9. They conclude that no one will grasp their dream and give it up.
Most folks never learn how to express and articulate their true desires in life.
The truth is that most people can’t say what it is because they don’t know what it is.Because they choose to give up on their path of self-discovery instead of keeping going.
10. They would rather be misunderstood than incorrect. Individuals make decisions for themselves all the time based on what will make other people happy.
But doing so is a certain way to ensure your own unhappiness.
It is far preferable to be misunderstood while living the truth than to be completely understood while living a lie.
11. They do not have a certain road to success.
Before taking the plunge, putting yourself out there, and going all-in on chasing their passion, most people want to know that the ultimate outcome is guaranteed.
But that is the nature of dreams. These cannot be assured.
That’s why they’re so enjoyable to pursue.
They would rather accept short-term rewards.
So many people set out to fulfill their dreams only to detour for a cushy, high-paying desk job.
If that’s what you want, go ahead and do it. But if you do it solely out of fear, you’re a coward who will live to regret it for the rest of your life.
13. They are unwilling to turn and adjust.
When people set out to achieve a goal, they frequently fall in love with an ideal “ultimate destination.”
As a result, they find it difficult to pivot. They would sooner abandon the journey than change their expectations, readjust, and press on.
They become bored.
Then there are those who give up because they lack the ingenuity to keep reinventing themselves.
No journey is ever the same. Nobody does either.
So, it’s unfortunate when someone abandons their dream simply because they don’t want to put in the work to uncover the next version of themselves.
15. They lose confidence in themselves.
On any path, there will be occasions when your self-belief will be shaken.
These difficult learning experiences are too much for some. They no longer perceive themselves as a work in progress and begin to accept that they have failed.
As a consequence, they surrender.
And then their dream vanishes.
When you throw in the towel and return to something safer and less challenging, consider the following:
1. What motivated you to seek this objective in the first place, and has anything changed?
You had a valid reason for agreeing to this proposal. Perhaps you imagined yourself financially free after starting this new business, or you discovered you’d live longer and be healthier if you lost forty pounds.
You probably still want those things as much as you did before; you just stopped believing you could have them because your efforts have yet to bear fruit. So you must ask yourself: Would pushing through the discomfort be worthwhile in the end?
2. Have you lately been working with too much data?
With so much information available at our fingertips on the good ol’ World Wide Web, it’s easy to become overburdened with more knowledge than you can apply. You read e-books and blogs, attend teleconferences and coaching sessions, and participate in user forums to discuss getting things done.
As a result, you either spend more time planning to act than acting, or you devote minimal energy to several strategies rather than committing to one strong method. Instead of drowning in data, why not pare it down and begin over in a less overwhelming space?
3. Do you set a reasonable goal? SMART objectives are as follows:
Specific—you know exactly what your environment will look like after you reach this goal.
Measurable—you have a precise plan in place to track your progress.
Attainable—you have the mindset and abilities to make your objective a reality.
Realistic—you are willing and capable of making the necessary effort.
Time-bound—you’ve set a certain finish date to create a sense of pressure.
You may have put yourself on the path to failure if you did not make a SMART objective. How can you possibly make something happen if you don’t know what you want or don’t feel capable of doing it? Are you truly willing to quit when you haven’t given yourself every chance to succeed?
4. What’s the worst that could happen if you keep going but don’t achieve your goal?
If I want to turn around, it’s typically because I’m afraid of failing—of disappointing myself or others, or of wasting my time. In reality, no one ever evaluates us as harshly as we judge ourselves, and we always grow and learn through the process of striving, no matter what we achieve.
You’ll never know how far you could have gone if you don’t keep going, and you’ll miss out on becoming the person you’d become through the effort itself. If you keep going, remember this quote: “Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”
5. Are you scared of success?
One of my major issues is that I dislike responsibilities. There are many things I want to do, but I resist because I don’t want to have the power to influence, harm, or disappoint others. It isn’t to say I don’t have dreams. It’s just that I’m afraid of what it will take to achieve them.
If you can relate to this, you might respond well to the slogan I’ve been repeating: enormous power comes with great responsibility, but it also comes with great rewards. You won’t harm or disappoint anyone if you play things safe, but you also won’t help or inspire anyone. And, more importantly, you will not aid or inspire yourself.
6. Do you respond on impulse or emotion rather than reasoning things out?
Sometimes our emotions provide us with ideas about what we want and what we should do, but in other instances they’re just stress reactions or possibly even signs that we’re on the right track. If you act in a fit of rage, fear, or frustration, you may come to regret it once the wave has passed.
So have a seat. Make a mental note of how you’re feeling. Experience it completely, without passing judgment on it or yourself. When you’ve reached the other side, take action. At the very least, you’ll know you made your decision in a state of calm and clarity.
7. Would you relish telling a loved one the truth about why you gave up?
And I mean truthfully.
Do you want to tell your daughter, “I gave up attempting to quit smoking because cigarettes are more important to me than having more golden years with you?”
Is it enjoyable to tell your mother, “I decided not to go to school because I’d rather spend all of my time with my three-month boyfriend than prepare for a career that would ensure I don’t wind up jobless and homeless?”
If you lay it out like this, chances are you’ll discover you have a really excellent purpose for doing this difficult thing, and it’s worth going on no matter how painful the process is.
8. Would it improve your life if you abandoned this goal?
This may not sound motivating, but giving up is sometimes a wonderful thing. Sometimes you create a wholly unreasonable goal, and the pursuit of it fills you with inadequacy and worry. Or perhaps the aim isn’t in your or your family’s best interests, and it’s preferable to get out before you’ve invested so much time that it’s nearly impossible to back out.
You could easily use this as a reason to lie to yourself, so think carefully about it.Is this objective truly beneficial when all of the repercussions of achieving it are considered?
9. How much money have you already invested?
Social psychology studies the “sunk cost principle,” which says that the more we’ve put into something, the less likely we are to give up on it too soon.
How committed are you? How much time and money have you spent on this? How many hardships have you endured? Are you willing to accept defeat simply because you lack confidence in your abilities?
10. What else would you advise someone else in your situation?
Would you encourage your best friend to give up because she can’t possibly achieve her goal? Or would you give her your best motivating speech and help her see what you see in her? Unless you’re a secret foe hoping she fails in life, you’d push her to be her best—so why not push yourself?
It may sound cliché, but you must be your own best friend. You, more than anybody else in the world, deserve to be believed and motivated.
If you’ve gone through all of these questions and are still adamant about giving up, you have my permission to do so. (I’m sure you’re relieved!)
If you don’t—if you have any residual doubts—keep working toward the dream that drives you.
If necessary, try a different method. Recruit fresh personnel. Reduce your time commitment to something you can readily sustain. However, whatever you do, don’t give yourself an excuse to say, “I resigned because I was terrified.
